B O to the X

There are many things to love about Houston; there are also many things that I miss about Houston when I am gone. These lists include several good and some mediocre restaurants, good friends and humid nights driving around with the windows down and the music up top both lists. I love me some poppy hip hop late at night. When my life takes me far away and I feel wistful for Houston, I seek out internet radio of Houston stations and queso.

But there are things about a summer in Houston that just can't be faked or replicated: my great tan with freckles that the boys seem to like to much (call me pretty and I'll melt like lemon sherbet), achieved from a summer in the pool with the kiddies, the self discipline to leave some enchilada on the plate, attained by an unshakable faith that there absolutely will be more tomorrow, and the deep and varied cultural knowledge that comes with listening to a summer's worth of 97.9 morning shows. The topics range from the mundane to the profane, and some conversations have left me speechless.

The show topped my must-listen list when they preached the gospel of "no one wants to see a bunch of men get together on the dance floor and booty dance." Now, this is something I have never seen, but I don't get out that much. The best part of that show was when one of the dj's went through, by age group, how unacceptable this behavior is. The word seems to have gotten to the 23-35 age group of men, and they don't get up on each other at the club. The morning show was trying to get the message to the kids age 15-23 that men did not need to be booty dancing with other men. I guess if you under age 16, like nine years old, then it is youthful and fun to dance with anyone. But with a driver's license comes other adult responsibilities, one being only dance with girls, or, just let the girls dance with each other. I guess people like to watch women dance together. What a double standard!

Some days the topics are more serious. Last week they played a parody of the background noise when John McCain spoke at the NAACP. Black people really don't give a crap for John McCain, so you can imagine what farce. Later, they brought up the notorious "Blackman," the stereotype about black men and child rearing. The phone lines lit up for that one.

But today's show really took the cake. Men who sag their pants are at risk to being sodomized.
Yeah, that's what the drive time morning show was about. Seriously. I tuned in just in time to hear a County jail employee describe a foul game played in prison. Nine men get naked in a circle and wrestle and whoever penetrates first is the winner. What! What! It takes a lot to render a dj speechless, but this scenario did it. They tried to move on to morning prayers. But then they came back. Why would anyone play this game? The conclusion was that there are no winners.