I heart my night guard

I suffer from almost daily severe migraines. It has been speculated by those who share a bed with me that all the things I do with my mouth in the night may contribute to these headaches.

During my year-long yoga teachers' training, many ideas were presented, some crazier than others. But one was that unless you are eating your top teeth should not touch your bottom teeth. This was really helpful for me because I thought if my jaw wasn't clenched I wasn't grinding my teeth, but really even when I thought I was relaxed I was putting pressure on my scull. Learning to not relax during the day definitely improved my head and my mood, but I continued to make weird noises at night.

Mouth guards are like today's fashion. You can get a $1,000 night guard made for your head from a dentist, a couture night guard if you will, a $20 mold yourself guard from Wal Mart, or a $5 hockey players mouth gaud (the H&M of mouth guards). First, I bought the Wal Mart mold your own, and that was worthless; I didn't keep it in my mouth; it didn't fit well; I stopped using it.

My dentist explained that mouth guards not specially made for your mouth actually encourage grinding as you try to hold them in at night. Couture guards snap on and are designed to trigger a mechanism in your jaw that when you bit down on the back it feels bad and you open your mouth. I don't really know how that works. Then he explained all the benefits of not grinding away your teeth in the night.

First, I was in sticker shock. But seriously, I'm on my last set of natural teeth, how much are worth to me? So I got a night guard for the bargain basement price of about $500. Getting it fitted required a session of grinding down on guard through carbon paper, waiting for the marks to be sanded off, and then continuing the grinding. That caused a headache, which I guess is also an investment.

I was pretty excited about my first night with the new guard. It felt really tight, and then I woke up the next morning to find it across the room. Since the guard will only work if it is in my mouth, I'm pretty motivated to keep in there. I've discovered that taking half a muscle relaxer equals not throwing the mouth guard across the room in the night. Also, four drinks the night before also solves this problem. Upon purchase, I thought a clear guard would get kind of funky looking, but it also makes it rather difficult to see on the carpet. I would rather not be a drug addict, but I don't enjoy crawling around on the floor every morning looking for this thing.

With use, the guard is getting less tight, as promised, and I becoming accustomed to wearing it. A few nights ago I went to bed unmedicated and woke up in the night trying to take it out so that I could continue chewing. Man, when you are asleep, chewing feels so good. I don't know what it is, but chewing and grinding my teeth just lights up the pleasure spots in my brain. But, I'm a disciplined girl so I stopped chewing and kept the guard in. This morning bite guard was still in my mouth after a night of drug free, uninterrupted sleep. That was awesome!

But the biteguard has more gifts than just protecting my molars and eliminating pain across the sinuses. Last weekend, a group of friends visited Austin and slept at Peggy's all slumber party style. As I was settling in for the night and pulling out my ever so cool night guard, Kelly tells me that she grinds her teeth in the night. My first thought is that she is making fun of me. But then she sees my mouth guard. It turns out we have the same one. It was just like the middle school experience of having the same retainer. I was deprived of this experience by naturally having acceptable teeth. Oh, biteguard, you have given me so much more than I had ever dreamed!